Metro System

Besides language, I find the most daunting thing about a foreign city to be the transit system.  It is the key to getting around cheaply.  It is the way to experience the city in the shoes of a native.  It is the most frustrating thing one is introduced to--especially when there's the foreign language factor--but the reward for figuring it out is to walk with your head held high, for you are now able to trick people into thinking you belong.  This is not the case in Prague.  The hardest thing about the transit system in Prague is not getting queasy on the escalators.  Heading up and down, into and out of, the depths of the city's core to catch the metro involves a long, long escalator ride at a speed one might consider harmful the safety of humans beings.

Imagine this is what you see when you look up at the exit:

Now imagine that a stutter-step is required to embark on such a ride.  One might say it's like hopping into a game of double-dutch; you've got to time the spin, gauge the rope, and make eye-contact with the twirler to ensure they're not out to make you look like a fool--only then is it the time to begin to even think about jumping in.  Much like the metro escalators.  Look at the photo again.  Closely.  Do you see an end point?  Do you see anyone walking smoothly off the escalator to continue on with their day?  No; it's too high.  Now close your eyes.  What you see is me, pretending to be a Praguer; leaving the map in my satchel; attempting to mimic the stoic face of a Czech.  The dismount gives me away most; the escalator slings me off, out of it's metro lair, out onto the normal world level.  I'm almost encouraged to continue at the escalator's suggested speed into a jog all the way out to street level, like it seems to suggest you to do.  There would be no blending after that.

Point being: Much like the double-dutch twirlers, the metro escalators laugh when tourists sway.  They use efficiency as their disguise, but I feel confident that the speeds were chosen for a reason.  I could be exhibit 'a'.  Here is a suggested checklist from someone who has learned quickly: check individual spacing, gauge time, set feet, stutter-step, go!  When aboard, study the posters along the long, but windy ride; the creepy, confusing and humorous images are sure to take your mind off your impending sling-shot.