The news is in. I can use humor as a coping mechanism in teaching, but it doesn't translate into Czech. I learned this three days ago, when I taught my first English lesson to six elementary level learners. Other things I learned: I speak fast, I babble, I don't remember much about English. Today, feeling two days more experienced and not terribly under prepared, I stood in front of four students with a smile. "On Tuesday you said I spoke too fast," I wrote 'slow down' on the whiteboard. "Today, if I am talking too fast, please tell me to 'slow down'. Be mean if you have to." Saying this in the slowest way I possibly could, I smiled at the class. The young man smiled and nodded his head, one woman stared at me blankly and the last woman explained what I had just said to the young man's mother--in Czech. Not exactly what I wanted, but I figured that now everyone will understand for certain. Let's begin.
Twelve minutes into my forty-five minute lesson it was discovered that everything I had included in my lesson plan was already common knowledge among the group. This means that the eight minutes I had carefully and thoughtfully factored out for a short writing assignment dwindled down to only take approximately three minutes. Before I could patch up my brain-fart my lesson plan's internal clock was being shaved down in five minute increments! A half an hour to stretch two activities--one of them being my only backup plan! I realized that I had one choice; one 'Hail Mary' pass before I lost them to their uncontrollable conversation in Czech that they were slowly beginning...I had to banter with them. Under normal (*cough*English*cough*) circumstances I would not have found this in the least bit difficult, but this involved my sense of humor having to scale a large wall--built up over years of language, cultural difficulties and mutual misunderstanding. I had to be up to the challenge...I hadn't another choice.
I took the workbook's suggestion and told them to write five sentences, three true, two false; we were going to guess which was the true statement. I started out lame, "My brother plays sports. True or false?" But I think my fifth sentence was my crown and glory, "I have big feet. True or false?" They smiled. They said they didn't know. So I put my foot on the desk, resting comfortably in it's Chuck Taylor, and I wiggled my toes. "You tell me. Doesn't that look big to you?" And then they laughed! The humor was breaking through, and I was on the winning side! Tally one, for Lindsay.
One woman in this elementary class, Irina, is from right outside of Moscow. We found out today that she is a doctor, and from her appearance she is quite well off. Irina is very sweet, and she understands everything we say. The others look to Irina when we finish explaining something, and she always relays the directions to the others--in Czech. She doesn't explain anything in English, because she can only speak a few words...but she understands everything! Finally today, after listening to the Czech whispers and relays of directions I leaned over the table with a smile, "I want to know what she says too, but I don't speak Czech. You are leaving me out. If you say it in English I can listen too." They laughed again...tally up the second point!
As it turns out, it really 'isn't what you say, but how you say it'. My teaching group said that I was the most approachable of the three of us; the students like when I'm up there and seem at ease talking with me. Bottom line: my humor may come out on the Czech side slightly fragmented from having climbed the wall, but even in the Czech Republic it is my saving grace. New lesson plan implemented: banter with the class.
When it was time for the students' break I sat back down in my chair and breathed a sigh of relief that (one) I made it to the minimal required time, and (two) we weren't being monitored by my teacher today. I looked up and the young man of the group, Petr, was sitting next to me. "Do you have a 'Facebook'?" He asked.
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