"Teacher, you wrote your 'k' carelessly."
~Treehouse student, a day after learning the adverb 'carelessly'
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
The great injustice of 2012 and a toilet bowl lunch.
I won a flat screen television at the year-end banquet this past weekend. However, unbeknownst to me, there was a tiny box at the bottom of the raffle ticket I was supposed to check in order to officially win my prize. So they put the ticket back.
What. A. Bummer.
I've tried to trick myself into thinking that a flat screen television would be a burden, and that I'm better off without it. I'm not fully convinced yet.
Sunday afternoon. Day of rest. What better way to spend it than at 'Modern Toilet: the Restaurant'? Please cue epic music.
The whole restaurant was decorated in bathroom decor, right down to the porcelain thrones we sat on.
Picking out what to order was a challenge, but everything came as a combination with a drink and some fro-yo; for an extra NT$30 (US$1) one's drink would be served in a take-home urinal...so that happened. I didn't order the right thing, though. The food was fine, but it arrived in a sink (observe my urinal, complete with bendy straw).
The other lunches arrived in style.
Who wouldn't want their chicken served in a black toilet? Riddle me that. While the side of rice came covered in a ceramic pile of dung, the hot beverages were served in toilet mugs.
The amount of security cameras around made one wonder how many times the dung-covers had been involved in attempted abduction.
While dining at this restaurant our group became "those Americans"...but we were too easily entertained to care. So many poop jokes and, yet, it still didn't feel like enough.
What. A. Bummer.
I've tried to trick myself into thinking that a flat screen television would be a burden, and that I'm better off without it. I'm not fully convinced yet.
***
Sunday afternoon. Day of rest. What better way to spend it than at 'Modern Toilet: the Restaurant'? Please cue epic music.
The whole restaurant was decorated in bathroom decor, right down to the porcelain thrones we sat on.
Picking out what to order was a challenge, but everything came as a combination with a drink and some fro-yo; for an extra NT$30 (US$1) one's drink would be served in a take-home urinal...so that happened. I didn't order the right thing, though. The food was fine, but it arrived in a sink (observe my urinal, complete with bendy straw).
The other lunches arrived in style.
Who wouldn't want their chicken served in a black toilet? Riddle me that. While the side of rice came covered in a ceramic pile of dung, the hot beverages were served in toilet mugs.
The amount of security cameras around made one wonder how many times the dung-covers had been involved in attempted abduction.
While dining at this restaurant our group became "those Americans"...but we were too easily entertained to care. So many poop jokes and, yet, it still didn't feel like enough.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Striving for the green pig
In an effort to dream big I've taken to collecting the 'Angry Birds' stickers on the side of my 7-11 lattes--ensuring that one day in the (hopefully near) future I will be able to collect a free pen. The free pen I'm striving for is one of the following...
...and it is all the rage among Taiwanese school children. I've saved five out of the necessary nine stickers in the past week--this statistic is both shocking and appalling. Only five 7-11 lattes this week?! I should've had my free pen days ago!
When people see me add the stickers to my collection they assume I'm going to give it away as a prize to one of my classes--they're wrong. I plan on going about my daily writing business with a new sense of flair...and as the envy of all my students.
A fellow teacher told his kindergarten class that my Chinese name is 'Lady Gaga'...so that was an interesting greeting from a class of twenty 5-year old's this morning. And their parents found it to be a curious salutation later in the day as they were leaving.
The Christmas tree at school was removed the day after Christmas, with a blatant disregard for the 'New Year's Day Rule'. Yesterday the vacant spot was filled with this:
I couldn't bring myself to reprimand the kids that punched it as they walked by since I've been holding back from doing that very same thing.
Last week was the start of a new 'Yo-Yo' unit which means one thing...
...a new window display! It's still unclear as to whether I succeeded in drawing a bear (as was intended) or if I morphed it into a dog unintentionally. The class poll was inconclusive.
(Further) Evidence that I have the coolest co-workers:
On Tuesday, after kindergarten, the rain took a break and it was decided that we couldn't let it go to waste. A fellow teacher and I headed around the block to Carrefour (Taiwan's Wal-Mart) to purchase baseball gloves. We bought the cheapest ones we could find at NT$298 (US$9)...both cheap in price, and in quality. We headed to the park across the street to have ourselves a catch; we even played a game of "Pickle"! It was a fantastic way to spend the afternoon and temporarily satisfied my urge to throw a baseball around. I've already given a trustworthy individual instructions to transport my glove to South Carolina, where we will rendezvous in two weeks' time.
The baseball glove remains in my school locker, where it shall be ready for any spontaneous games of catch that may be had in the future. That is, if the rain gives it a rest, already!
The kids here play "Paper-Scissors-Stone" nonstop (it's actually quite brilliant). In some variations of the game the loser can get their foot stepped on--literally; if your weapon of choice is on the losing side you have to jump out of the way almost immediately upon throwing down to dodge the winner jumping onto your foot. I enjoy entering these games during class break times, but sometimes just to mess with the students I'll step on feet whether I win or lose. The following is a diagram one of my students, Jamie, drew to illustrate how the game works when there are more than two people involved.
The 'paper' sketch reminds me of "Bullwinkle"; the 'scissors' even resemble the moose's hooves.
The artist with his unfinished diagram (on the right) and a few of the girls from class.
...and it is all the rage among Taiwanese school children. I've saved five out of the necessary nine stickers in the past week--this statistic is both shocking and appalling. Only five 7-11 lattes this week?! I should've had my free pen days ago!
When people see me add the stickers to my collection they assume I'm going to give it away as a prize to one of my classes--they're wrong. I plan on going about my daily writing business with a new sense of flair...and as the envy of all my students.
***
A fellow teacher told his kindergarten class that my Chinese name is 'Lady Gaga'...so that was an interesting greeting from a class of twenty 5-year old's this morning. And their parents found it to be a curious salutation later in the day as they were leaving.
***
The Christmas tree at school was removed the day after Christmas, with a blatant disregard for the 'New Year's Day Rule'. Yesterday the vacant spot was filled with this:
I couldn't bring myself to reprimand the kids that punched it as they walked by since I've been holding back from doing that very same thing.
***
Last week was the start of a new 'Yo-Yo' unit which means one thing...
...a new window display! It's still unclear as to whether I succeeded in drawing a bear (as was intended) or if I morphed it into a dog unintentionally. The class poll was inconclusive.
***
(Further) Evidence that I have the coolest co-workers:
On Tuesday, after kindergarten, the rain took a break and it was decided that we couldn't let it go to waste. A fellow teacher and I headed around the block to Carrefour (Taiwan's Wal-Mart) to purchase baseball gloves. We bought the cheapest ones we could find at NT$298 (US$9)...both cheap in price, and in quality. We headed to the park across the street to have ourselves a catch; we even played a game of "Pickle"! It was a fantastic way to spend the afternoon and temporarily satisfied my urge to throw a baseball around. I've already given a trustworthy individual instructions to transport my glove to South Carolina, where we will rendezvous in two weeks' time.
The baseball glove remains in my school locker, where it shall be ready for any spontaneous games of catch that may be had in the future. That is, if the rain gives it a rest, already!
***
The kids here play "Paper-Scissors-Stone" nonstop (it's actually quite brilliant). In some variations of the game the loser can get their foot stepped on--literally; if your weapon of choice is on the losing side you have to jump out of the way almost immediately upon throwing down to dodge the winner jumping onto your foot. I enjoy entering these games during class break times, but sometimes just to mess with the students I'll step on feet whether I win or lose. The following is a diagram one of my students, Jamie, drew to illustrate how the game works when there are more than two people involved.
The 'paper' sketch reminds me of "Bullwinkle"; the 'scissors' even resemble the moose's hooves.
***
It was a really, really fun Friday.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Kiki's, guiding me in the right direction (yet again)
Things that happened to me today...bullet-point style:
- When I awoke I had a huge bruise on the side of my hip, as I wasn't injured when I went to bed last night I am to assume one of two things occurred:
- I sleep-walked...somewhere
- I believe that the sleep-walking destination (should the hypothetical injury explanation become fact) would be to visit the woman who makes fried rice on the first floor of my building
- My rock-hard bed has taken to injuring me as I sleep, when I am rendered defenseless to any and all attacks
- Personally, I'm leaning toward this explanation for my spontaneous injury
- Last month may have been my month to lead exercise-time but I was the only option today, and so I danced/jumped solo this morning in front of thirty-five kindergarteners...again
- I forgot the choreography, but was corrected (many times) by the adorable girl in the front row
- I was heckling a toddler for getting milk all over himself as he drank (but admiring his milk beard at the same time) when I spilled my coffee down the front of my sweater
- The toddler laughed...rightfully so
- Enter second toddler with the most intense milk mustache I've ever seen; he refused to wipe it off, so I (being the adult) drew a mustache on my finger and joined him...'stache twins!
- He laughed, but there was a look of pity in his eye
- It took me a while to remember to wash this carefully drawn mustache off...one wonders how many times I accidentally wore it in the time that it existed outside of school (through nasal region scratchings, general hand-to-face contact, etc.)
- I had a slight feeling I wasn't going the right way out of the MRT toward my post-kindy coffee destination, but I happened upon a Kiki's Restaurant--assuring me with it's basic cat sketch that I was headed in the right direction for coffee...and life in general
- There's a chance I've attached excessive meaning to the constant appearance of Kiki's Restaurants in my adventures as I traipse about Taipei
- Kiki's: a culinary stalker, or a beacon of light? Research (delicious research) must be done.
***
The 'listening comprehension' portion of homework asked this youth to draw a purple teddy bear; this haunting portrait was the result:
He received credit for his interpretive depiction.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year (from the future)!!
My video refused to upload, so I had to steal it from youtube. Check out how I welcomed in 2012.
THIS:
Dude. Taiwan.
THIS:
Dude. Taiwan.
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