A bullet-pointed year in review

In case I lose you somewhere within the next few "paragraphs" I will make this announcement at the beginning:

Check out this website: http://www.ediblecommunities.com/upcountry/blog.htm and bask in the delicious sound of "the Seasonal Kitchen: Pumpkin Soup for the Winter Soul" as written by the talented Whitney "Mr. Magoo" Gerhard.  I've yet to try it myself, but I expect a batch to be concocted when I visit!  After all, it's dishes like these that made me begin my "adventurous eating phase" in the first place.

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It's my first New Year's with a blog and I feel as though I should write a 'year in review' themed entry; I feel compelled, really.  It's no wonder, though, considering my beginning the year as a bookseller in Walnut Creek, going to Prague with intentions of living and rounding out the last third of the year in Taiwan.  Let's retrace the journey together, in the form of a highlight reel of favorites:

• Purchase 
• Plane ticket to Prague

•  Honorable Mention: ticket to Coachella Music Festival.  Nothing welcomes in the warm weather like a sweltering Jimmy Eat World dance party in the desert!

• City
• Boston: a trip during the springtime was planned with a friend, and it did not disappoint.  I was immediately sucked into all things Boston, and I'm sorry to say that this included wearing a Red Sox hat (I plead peer pressure, and an insufficient will to win in Oakland).  This New England city saw me eat lobster raviolis (when in Rome...er, kinda), wear a crab-shaped hat, and act like an seven-year-old on a sugar high--jumping around with all kinds of excitement while waiting in line at Fenway.

• Prague: obviously.  This Czech city made passing the time simple and majestic; I never could spend the day inside...many explorations were had, and many discoveries were made.  The Czechs satisfied my appetite (meat and potatoes...*gargle*), and my quest for adventure.  Also (lest you forget), there was an entire church made of bones in the city's outskirts--I'm not really sure if anything can top that.

• Taipei: I've become strangely at home in Asia--despite my lack of language skills.

• Hostel (excluding the one I essentially lived in)
• Tiger Tim's (Budapest): first off, the name; secondly, the proximity to a delightful Indian food restaurant (where I dropped my wallet in curry...just one of the many chuckle-worthy events that took place there); third, the entire room of good-looking guys we awoke to on the last morning (ah, those mixed dorms).

• Job
• Teacher: though the employee discount at Barnes and Noble was enticing (perhaps a little too much so), I have become partial to the occupation of teacher, over bookseller.  I find this reassuring  given that I've been planning on teaching as a permanent occupation for quite sometime--oh, and because I moved to Taiwan to do it (good thing I enjoy it).

• Movie
• "Moneyball": Michael Lewis' book of baseball finances centered around the A's caused me a little worry when I heard the movie was in production.  The book was brilliant but, as anyone feels when a movie is made about something close to their heart, I was concerned that it wouldn't capture the magic of "the Streak" or that it would just be terribly inaccurate.  My mind was eased upon viewing the film in a Taipei theater (two months after it premiered in Oakland); I laughed, I cried (don't judge), and I fell in love with the A's all over again.  And, fun fact, I was watching this movie at the exact moment my nephew (an A's fan by inheritance) was born!

• Honorable Mention: "Midnight in Paris"

• Book
• the Book Thief by Markus Zusak: a tough category, with a clear winner.  I read this book during the first months of spring, and thus sat outside in the sun for most of it but still had chills.  I had borrowed the book, but ended up buying my own copy about a quarter of the way through because there was so much I wanted to underline and mark.  The year's obvious winner.

• Honorable Mentions: Life (Keith Richards), the Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett), Fever Pitch (Nick Hornby), Just Kids (Patti Smith), Bossypants (Tina Fey), Brideshead Revisited (Evelyn Waugh)

• Album
•  "Suck It and See" (Arctic Monkeys): ignore the crude title...this album was awesome, and I've had a hard time shutting it off since it came out.  I love those Arctic Monkeys, but they don't feel mutually about me...if they did, they wouldn't have waited until after I left the country to tour with the Black Keys.

• Honorable Mentions: "Elsie" (the Horrible Crowes), "El Camino" (the Black Keys), "Pink Strat" (Bahamas), "21" (Adele)

• Favorite song to finish the year: "I Only Want to Be With You" (Amy Macdonald, covering Dusty Springfield)

•  TV Show
• "30 Rock": still the easy winner with another successful season; Avery Jessup was a delightful new character.

• "Up All Night": Maya Rudolph + Will Arnett + Christina Applegate = my neighbors thinking I'm the strangest person in the world...not that I'd understand them if they made any remark about hearing my constant laughter through the walls.

• "Arrested Development": yes, I've hopped on the bandwagon; yes, I've giggled through my journey; yes, I've finished all the episodes; yes, I've done the chicken dance in front of not one, but two of my lower level classes.

• Food
• I regret to inform you that I am unable to pick a favorite from the entire year--also, at the risk of engaging in an "F.G.N.Y." I shan't devote any more space to food...at least for today.

• Biggest Disappointment
• Missing Jimmy Eat World's "Bleed American" tour: in order to celebrate the tenth anniversary of their album, the band went on tour to play "Bleed American" in its entirety.  One show was slated to take place in San Francisco in September...when I wouldn't be there!  That's ok, Jimmy--the album was only the soundtrack to my teenage years.  And to add insult to injury the show took place at the Fillmore, which is only the coolest venue!  No, no, it's cool...why don't you add a second show just in case I wasn't hurting enough.  You did?  Thanks.

• Honorable Mention: the Oakland Atheletics' 2011 season...no surprise there.
• Cutest Baby
• Isaac Elliott:

***

 So there it is; my year, my favorites.  And I'll show you out with this little number:

Happy New Year's!!!

Official Report: 'Svelt Lindsay' may be a myth.

It's been long enough...I shall now devote an entry to my favorite Taiwanese food item: the "handheld omelet".  Phonetically it's pronounced "chung yo bing" and once I managed to remember that Chinese phrase I knew I would have no chance of going hungry here.  Given my desire to use this Asian/mystery meat experience to morph into 'Svelt Lindsay' (a characterization that I failed to embrace fully in hearty Prague), the discovery of what I call "a handheld omelet" has become both a gift and a curse.

Here it is in all its glory:

 

 Allow me to expand on the above visual as the full delicious appeal is too glorious for photography (and the lighting in my apartment flatters nothing and no one); the outside is some sort of crepe/croissant-y situation.  Complete with green onions this shell is fried to perfection and beat with a spatula to create the ideal texture (note: I believe the beating to be unnecessary; I have an untested theory that it would be even more amazing if it was left in its non-abused form).  Given Taiwan's tendency to add egg to everything I originally embraced this because I couldn't communicate it any other way--but embrace it I did!  An egg is fried on the hot-skillet and the crepe/croissant-y shell is placed on top of it.

With just these two ingredients (shell and egg) I have been more than satisfied on many an occasion, but it is not yet a "handheld omelet".  In order to complete the final process one must add bacon and cheese...which, fortunately for me, are pronounced in Chinese very similar to the way they are in English.  Once the latter two ingredients are inserted into the center the treat is folded over--ready to be enjoyed with enthusiasm and a smile on the consumer's face.

This "omelet" is typically a breakfast food, but I went through an astonishing amount of time able only to consume it at the night market stand where it was originally discovered (lacking cheese and bacon).  Once the official (yet not as creative) title was successfully researched the boundaries of consumption expanded to include the morning (when it is meant to be eaten), with a break in the afternoon before the night market man set up camp.  And then one shop changed everything.  There is a seemingly rare, yet utterly delightful, 24-hour breakfast shop a mere ten minute walk from my apartment building.  Actually they have more than breakfast food, but breakfast is what I am currently most concerned with...and (the most important part) the owner speaks fluent English.  Originally this was rather discouraging, for I attempted to order my meal in Chinese and she responded in English.  I quickly realized what a gift this is; I can ask her what certain appealing items are called.  I have been working on my aspiring position as a regular with a focus only food can provide me.  The relationship looks promising.

I wonder if there is any country where the potential of a 'Svelt Lindsay' actually exists...

The road to a Taiwanese Christmas.

Today I received a package full of Christmas spirit...California style.  The box was practically exploding with candy, a stocking full of the traditional Boggs family stuffers (items including but not limited to: various accessories; oral hygiene kit; gum; headphones--cheeseburger headphones, to be exact; Milk Duds--witnesses will attest to an unrivaled enthusiasm in regards to this caramel delight; other goodies), wrapped gifts (which will stay wrapped until Christmas in a true test of the ultimate will-power) and all-around holiday cheer from home.

 

In an effort to document the cheer of Taiwan for those who are unable to experience it, I have taken to photographing all of the Christmas trees that I come across in my daily activities.  I had imagined this to be a simple (and not creepy) task before the season was in full swing; a picture of the tree at school, and maybe the blow-up Santa Claus at the school down the street...but how wrong I turned out to be.  One should never assume a country that doesn't celebrate Christmas would be opposed to the usual over-the-top decorative tactics.  Trees began popping up all over my daily routes and other locations I found myself in around the city; they may be fake trees, but their decorations are nothing short of festive!  The result of my documentation is a possibility that I now have a reputation amongst the MRT station agents as "the" crazy for the amount of trees I've had photo shoots with while compiling this seasonal portfolio.  The following are the gems from my collection of photos entitled, "Taiwan's Spirit: the Journey to Christmas" (and yes, I'm aware the formatting is less than stellar):

 ***

 On a note entirely unrelated to Christmas in any way, shape or form:

The woman drinking tea across the way at the coffee shop I am currently camping out in has her cat in a Baby-Bjorn; she is caressing its paw whilst she sips her beverage.  Her purse is also emitting a curious, animal-like tone.  If I could find a way to sneak a photo I would share it with you all and the world, but alas!  Damn her awareness of my glances of curiosity.

I'm doing my best to ignore her death stare; it's as if she knows I'm dying of laughter--on the inside.

I just had to tell someone.

Getting down on Friday

Due to a confusing and ill-timed situation involving a sports day in the morning and a late afternoon class I was able to/was told I should switch my Saturday morning class to Wednesday night—which means that it is a proper Friday for me today!  The exciting prospect of lounging tomorrow morning was dampened slightly when I was told that the Internet guy would come for an installation anywhere between 9-5.  No culture shock for this situation—but I’m happy to do whatever it takes if it means that I will have Internet in my apartment (more on this later).

The joyous feeling of a proper Friday was overwhelming and I got a little goofier than usual with my Yo-Yo class.  After I teased them through English time I pulled out the all-magical Playdough for a “Funtime Activity!”…demonstrating how one makes a giraffe (it turned into a giraffe/camel hybrid) I set them loose to create their own animals.  It didn’t last long because they’re toddlers and Playdough animals are hard; soon they were showing me circles, squares and balls—but it was English and thus a success!  One of the kids with the most, ahem, spirit created a microphone and offered to let me sing.  I accepted!  Molding my own microphone I broke out into a unique(?) rendition of Bowie’s “Young Americans”—which in retrospect probably wasn’t the most appropriate choice for a class of three year olds, but I mumbled the whole thing anyway (Bowie, himself, wouldn’t have understood the lyrics).

The Friday glow followed me through the afternoon, allowing me to act loose and relaxed for the class that is most out of control.  By the end of the first hour I had caused three of them to cry—‘Stickyball’ can be both a gift and a curse.  But by the end of the second hour they became their usual uncontrollable selves.

And now, to relay the internet story…

I suppose technically it began on our post-TEFL certification course jaunt to Budapest; while walking home to Tiger Tim’s Hostel one night we happened upon a row of restaurants filled with twinkle lights.  Naturally we took a seat.  A waiter wearing a t-shirt with the official restaurant logo came over to take our order.  We weren’t ready and so he left—a few minutes later a man in an ambiguous stripped shirt appeared to take our order; we wouldn’t have thought much of it, but he didn’t seem to know the menu (or anything) at all—begging the question, “Does he work here?”  The meal continued; he failed to know more menu items; we noticed that he wasn’t serving any other tables.

“Does he work here?”

Then the final factor—he left.  We saw him greet a group of friends and we watched them all walk off together—into the night.

“Does he work here?”

He eventually came back and we proceeded to interrogate his whereabouts of the previous ten minutes, but he denied any unusual activity.

“We have a question—um, where did you go?”

“What do you mean ‘where’?”

“You were here, and then you walked that way; you were gone for ten minutes and no you’re back.  So, uh, where did you go?”

“I don’t understand.”

There was a ‘likely’ story involving a car and a closing parking lot and blah, blah, blah…but the question has been reoccurring.  Even in Taiwan.  There was the guy at the night market who tried to trick me into purchasing two pair of glasses for my ‘Waldo’ Halloween costume…taking them behind the kiosk’s sign to give them a thorough shine—and by ‘thorough’ I mean close to five minutes, without so much as a word.

“Does he work here?”

And most recently there was the Internet company man who was returning my call to the English department.  First, he tried to set me up with an email address, but I informed him I wanted the Internet…in general.  I was then told that I needed to purchase a router.

“Why do I need to buy a router?”

“Because we provide the service, not the equipment.  And once you purchase the router you have to call this number and they will walk you through the install.”

“I’d rather just schedule an appointment for someone to come out and install it for me.”

“Oh, we don’t do that.  You have to call this number—they walk you through it.”

“What is that number for?”

“To the blah-blah company.”

“Another company—not you guys?”

“Correct.”

“So if I have to buy the equipment, and call another company to set it up, and install it myself—what exactly is it that you do?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I buy the equipment.  I install the router.  I set up the wireless (with another company’s help)—what does your company do?”

“We provide the service.”

“Sure.”

I decided to scope out the electronics store across the street on my way to a different Internet company.  It was still cheaper to buy the router and use this (strange) company than go to the big organization.  So I purchased the cheapest one I found (US$20).  The front door had barely closed behind me when my phone rang.  It was the Internet company returning my call.

“No, someone already called me.”

“Ok, did you set up an appointment?”

“He told me you didn’t do that.  He told me to buy a router.  I bought a router.”

“Why did you buy a router for one computer?”

Silence.

“We can have our installation technician come out on Saturday to install your wireless.”

“That would be nice.”

Did he work there?