The best quotes and the hardest goodbye.

Here's the best of the best from the kindergarteners throughout the year (at least the ones that I remembered to write down):

• Jimmy raises his hand as if it's a gun, pointed at me:
• Me: No, thank you Jimmy.  No 'bang bang,' please.
• Jimmy nods and after 'holstering' his 'weapon' blows a kiss at me instead.
• "Teacher Lindsay and Jimmy and Jimmy and teacher Lindsay and--and--and--say sorry!"  ~Victor (sometimes explaining a problem can be so complicated in a second language)
• Pointing at my necklace:
• Jimmy:  Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy says, Jimmy says--uhhh--Jimmy says yes!
• Me: Do you like my necklace?
• Jimmy (nods enthusiastically): Yes!
• "We are now at Keelung Station."  ~Peter (playing with blocks; obviously someone's been paying attention on the commute to school)
•  Unauthorized love pats had occurred:
• Me: That's harassment!  I'm calling the proper authorities and filing a report on you.
• Jimmy:  No!  Ugh...Jimmy is angry.

Let's toss in a quote from an older class, for good measure:

• "Ouch!  That hurt my nipper!"  ~Alex (when a classmate accidentally hit him in the chest)

And the winner of the quote contest comes from a class that wasn't even mine but simply a long-term substitute situation...though I think he got it right:

• "Teacher Lindsay, you are not a serious people."  ~Rocco

I got a big group hug on the last day of kindergarten.

 

You can't say they're not creative.

He's actually asked me to call him by the name 'Easonosaurus' in class.

That doesn't exactly answer the question--though it is informative.

Sometimes when Amber is absent Peter gets lonely during snack time.  Good thing he has that framed picture of her to keep him company.

Celebrity lookalikes in the Elephant class.

I feel as though the app took a few liberties to compare Jimmy to Kevin Bacon.

 

  They did do a nice job with Alex though.  Come to think of it, he does look a little like Donald Faison.  Also (fun fact), Alex calls me 'Teacher Messy' and I haven't done a damn thing to correct it.

"Ted": pop-culture references ignite American laughter.

The following lines in "Ted" were responsible for fits of uncontrollable laughter by the two Americans sitting in the back of the theater, while the rest of the audience was absolutely silent.  Like, dead silent.

"But wait, you can't eat your pudding if you haven't had your meat."

"Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don't."

***

In other news, the 'King Kong in Tokyo' line featured in "Spiderman" enjoyed a boisterous response by the Taiwanese.

It's complicated.

Information Desk Man (pointing back and forth between the two of us): Unintelligible Chinese mumbles, ma?

Me: I think he's asking if we're sisters.

Maddie (to the man): Unintelligible Chinese mumble.

Information Desk Man (confused expression): Hao (ok).

Maddie (to me): I told him you weren't my little sister.

Me: I thought 'little sister' was mei-mei.

Maddie: Huh.  Ok.  Then I told him you weren't my grandmother.

Operation: Post-Taiwan

I know it's been a while, but I'm just going to leave these nuggets of information:

• I have, in my passport, one entry visa to China
• Trans-Siberian railway tickets have been reserved
• stops in: Yekaterinburg, Moscow and St. Petersburg
• There is a plane ticket from St. Petersburg to Berlin with my name on it

Yes, I know there are many more steps to take before our September 4th departure.  However, if all goes wrong the game becomes, "Get to St. Petersburg by October 4th using any means necessary."  And, hey, that might be fun, too.

Word travels fast in Yeliu.

Somewhere out there a middle-aged Taiwanese couple has photographic evidence of the ocean, cool rocks and me falling on my ass.

There is a geopark in Yeliu, and though they don't allow you to climb the rocks (an orange vest with a whistle comes out of nowhere to yell at those who try), there is a little region in which to wade into the water.  When the sun is out, with minimal cloud coverage, it may seem like a refreshing idea to remove your flip-flops and splash about in the knee-deep water.  It will be, but that is as far as you should go.  Whilst splashing about, laughing at how you are the oldest person enjoying said water (the rest are children), you'll notice that still within the knee-deep region there are a few rocks that look like fun to stand on.

Don't do it.

Heed my warning--they are too slippery.  You will fall into the water.  You will be laughing so hard that you can't get up, allowing your purse to soak in the (once delightful) water.  You will need your friend (who is also laughing hysterically at your stupidity) to drag you (still laughing) from the water.  There will be a middle-aged Taiwanese couple watching with an equal mixture of horror and amusement, using their giant camera to take flip-book worthy photos of this ridiculous sequence of events; they won't stop until you retreat to the most inconspicuous picnic table location to salvage what is left of your belongings.  And for the rest of your time in said geopark you will receive the tickled glances of other visitors who recognize you (and your wet clothes) from the (fast-traveling) description as "that white girl who ate it in the water".

The orange vest, and its whistle, will not be close in your moment of need.

Oh, yeah.  And you will need to replace your camera and iPod; they won't think too highly of your impromptu swim.  But on the bright side, you'll see some cool rocks.